Wild Emotions
By
Apurva Sanjay Malewar
Feelings are strange emotions within the abyss of a man's mind..... It is his soul that empowers his body to bring out the avarices of emotions from within.
To all things said and done, there is one such emotion, that endured by us all, which is so complex that it can change this in a flash, so fast that it overwrites all things said and done, clean swipe, a stone cold clean out....
But strangely for the past couple of days, strange things have engulfed into me, which brings out the fury from within, a small touch, but most importantly mere words, that trigger off a rage, so filled with utmost fury, that its as fast as the strike of a lightening........... I seem to wonder why has this sudden rage caught upon, on me......... what is it....
Thins that I do not like for example sunlight, brings out rage within me, food laid down on the table, brings out rage, and other things I wonder why......
Maybe there are things I want to say, but I do not let myself at people with such words of fury, as it may cause grave pain and sadness to them.......
Things that I feel are better left swallowed......
Is it that which is burning within me?................. Hell no!!!, I know what it is, the fact that makes me feel so tied down to feeling helpless makes me angry, rage comes out, when you make other people happy, and you still remain unhappy, but hurting others that could have been avoided, is it called regret, well in a way it is, in a way it isn't.
What does one have to do to make peace within himself, forgiveness, well it is not one of my virtues, and so is patience, we do not get along............ but yes forgive I will, and it is something I will ask for, if wrong is done to me or done by me to someone else, but what about wrong done by others bestowed upon me like a curse that kills you from the inside....
Well I realize one thing that people are manipulative, to satisfy their own selfish desires, and to get what they want, without even thing about consequences out others and themselves at grave risk............
The force that makes them push another to do what one can't is a sin... manipulation is a bigger sin, what is the purpose......... of pushing someone to get what they want, and hurting others that are directly related to such a situation, it puts a mans name, his family at stake................. Why doesn’t the other person see that, is he/ she blinded by his/her selfish motive?
I guess so....................
Now what, the purpose has been achieved, all the lies and the manipulation has worked wreck havoc, someone forced to do something...........this something which everyone wanted, ready to accept, but they just needed time.................. what did we get.................. A GOD DAMN ULTIMATUM..................... what did it do..................
It served the purpose............. made one party happy, the others were hurt, but the one who was mostly hurt was the one who went through it, trying to keep both parties happy...........
One soul that lost its luster because of constant fear to lose something precious................... what did one learn from this...............
Well a very important lesson, he hurt people who did not deserve to be hurt, his closest to the heart........... He hurt himself, rightly told by his master............ and he hurt a lot of things........... Profoundly himself.............
He is hurt because changes could be made, time could be given, but the fact that he was suckered into this, by the ultimatum given, makes him feel foolish............ the truth is what could he do............. he didn't have a choice, when one gives out ultimatums, its easy to sit down and say hey, its cool............. but not easy when one goes through pain.
The pain of losing someone precious, That precious didn't bother to understand his feelings, did not give him time, and now would blame him for not being accepted by his loved ones, you tell me what he should do????
I know, now that his purpose is served........... He did what he had to do, to keep his precious happy, now that precious can sit and listen to him, he is going to emerge strong, not giving a rats ass of what’s going to happen next between his precious and him.............. He has hurt his loved ones, now its time to give............. his precious has given him nothing but pain in a way............ but now he has to live with it, that's the bottom line....................
To all those who are out there, do not ever given in......................It's not worth it...................
